he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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