THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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