the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
