i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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