i just had sex bonerless
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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