Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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