remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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