hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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