The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
