But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
