i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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