hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
