Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
