in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
