I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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