I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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