It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
