Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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