I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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