i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
