no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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