no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
my liver is dry heaving
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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