You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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