Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
