Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
