Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
this is an emotional support booty call
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
