Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
