At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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