My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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