We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
