Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
