In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
