Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
