Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
