u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Welp...herpes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize