We're like a lot better than the average bears
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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