We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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