I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
