Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
