I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
