Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
