: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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