My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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