I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
