It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
