her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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