i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
