There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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