Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
