And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
