Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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